This year’s journey went by so fast, faster than any other that I can remember. For this post I’m not going to dwell on the many dark things happening in this country or the world. It’s not that I’m ignoring them, hoping they’ll disappear, or that someone else will take care of it. No, I’m just taking a breather and figuring out what I want to start and accomplish in the new year.
And yes, the quote above is one of the things I’m going to continue working on. I started in little ways and some big ones too, but it’s something I need to be mindful of all the time.
I think as women we have a tendency to put other people’s needs before our own. It doesn’t seem to matter how powerful and successful we are, our needs rarely come before those we love. That would be alright if our partner and kids acted the same way too, but usually they have a tendency to treat us like we’re superwoman and don’t need the extra support and help. Being a strong woman can be a double edged sword (cliché but true). Although quite a lot of that may be on us. We don’t share enough of the burden, because we find it faster to do it ourselves instead. That leads to us taking care of just about everything.
I was hesitant to share the bit below with you, because my daughter wrote this to me a couple of years ago. This is just a portion, but it is so beautiful. That letter came a couple of months after I started writing to her, while she was away at school. They were some of the first adult to adult and woman to woman words that I shared with her. They weren’t always eloquent or wise, but they were from my heart and sometimes were painful to reveal. It was a way to show her that I am not only her mom, but also a human who makes lots of mistakes. The suggestion actually came from my mom, who I have a complicated relationship with, and she actually hasn’t shared with me. And here’s a “duh moment” because maybe that was her way of getting me to really see HER as a person other than my mom too.
Thank you for everything you’ve put on hold for me over the years, for teaching me by way of example how to be a bigger person, for empowering my mind and imagination from such a young age…Your influence on the person I have become today is immense, though I don’t acknowledge that enough. It’s easy to forget that you aren’t a superhuman robot, but rather, another human being.”
She really is one of the most amazing people I know. I do want to talk more about this and other things too, but I’m going to save it for another time. This post ended up feeling more like a hike you would take with me… going off onto a side trail to see where it goes and ending up following that path instead. haha Maybe someday we’ll go on a real walk together and have heart shares, but for now I would love to know what’s going on with you. I truly mean that, because I feel that conversations are the best part of the journey.
I hope you all had a very lovely holiday, and here’s to a new year filled with love, joy, and empowerment. Happy New Year!